I’ve seen VC’s fund many security and tech startups. Lots of the ideas are rubbish, so I’ve come up with my own ideas that aren’t rubbish so VC’s can fund me instead.

Don’t steal any of my ideas or I will sue you!

Take a human skull and 3D print an eyeball on it, add Linux to the inside where the brain would be. Website uses photo of person looking out from screen with windows environment running, call this cyberSURVIVOR

Have a page on the home page that just says “Are you SCARED of these? Buy our product.” And then have soft symphonic music playing in the background.

When someone types in WannaCry on Google, a pizza gets delivered to Marcus Hutchins. Call this surprise cybersecurity pizza.

Sell cybersecurity on the dark web – bad guys on the dark web also need cybersecurity. Yeah, it’s a bit shady, but consider yourself as an arms dealer that sells weapons to both sides. Incorporate it in Switzerland to prove you’re independent and impartial.

Give all of your sales people kazoos to make it seem like they are having fun when talking about cybersecurity.

Launch a “Tastes so good your network might get attacked” Cookie.

Install wifi that looks legit, but buffers videos or streams movies 3 frames per second.

Add a small security OTP challenge with a code to login. Make the user write it down and then text them a troll face afterwards